2 weeks and counting..

I slept at 5 this morning and I woke up at 10....took my time getting ready...had breakfast in bed and went back to sleep after....there you have it, THE highlight of my life since the respiratory course started 2 weeks ago. and the best part is, now that I am awake, I cant go back to sleep, not when I have words like 'azygos vein, haemothorax and atopy' playing in my head like a bad MAA commercial...( what the fuck is up with a rabbit that smiles and says MAA)

And because I love my course so much, I decided that 9 hours of lectures and hospitals a day is simply not enough....so I eat my dinner during Grey's Anatomy and fall asleep to Scrubs...my laptop propped up by The Gray's Anatomy and Moses and Banks atlas....then I strain to catch terms related to my course...swear I felt a tingle when the doctor said 'tachycardia' and I knew what it was....
bottomline....i need to get me a life outside medicine that doesnt involve drinking, dancing, smoking, getting high, going to church and bed-hopping...........which doesnt leave me with much come to think of it...
I'm not on the verge of anything, dont worry......it's the oestrogen...*deep breath*....

I've definitely been watching too many series though...doesnt help that everything I watch has this narration thing going on, so I now walk to lectures with monologues ringing in my head...kinda like a demented John Dorian...gah..what is wrong with me

Still standing

Dr. Noble: So if the atmosphewic pressure is 100, and the alveolar ventilation rate is 4000;given
the CO2 production is 200ml, what is the partial pwessure of CO2?
Medic : 5
Dr.Noble : And how did u arrive at that figure, dear sir?
Medic : I guessed it
Dr. Noble : ......Sometimes I go home so depwessed..sighh..

After laughing with the cute round man who is my professor..I couldn't help wondering if there wasn't a hint of genuine dismay in that last statement of his...It can't be easy walking into a lecture theatre of 209 medical students who are barely awake at 9 am and trying to get our attention while drilling impossible figures and bacterial shapes into us...admit it..despite what the brochures say about 'fresh young minds'..most of us have sludge for brains until our 9.40 caffeine fix....or I could speak for myself:S

Can't be easy making a joke in a lecture theatre that you must have rehearsed in front of the mirror and anyone who would listen.. only to have us stare and blink for about 5 seconds until the bloddy kiss-arses in front decide to force amused chuckles--may they choke and die, God Bless their souls..

Must be hard to rush all the way from the General Hospital to Boldrewood for the last lecture on a Friday afternoon only to find 9 students left in a lecture theatre that could seat 500 comfortably....in my defence..it was Public Health and my shoes were killing me

Point is....it must seem to be the most disheartening job at times especially when someone's reading a paper behind your class..and yet on top of rushing to emergencies at different hospitals on different days, these people are willing to set time aside so that maybe someday we may decide to be as great as they now are.......or is making us graduate and leading us to a lifestyle they're only too familiar with the ultimate revenge....haha...damn it's a vicious cycle..

on a completely unrelated topic..I have survived 13 lectures and a 4 hour clinical symposium in 3 days...i feel like popping champagne and shooting myself at the same time

Bleh...

Uni starts tomorrow.....gah!!...I'm soo not looking forward to this....on the upside I finally get proper meals again....so whoop-dee--that...oh fuck how am I going to get up at 7.15...

A new beginning

My New Year's resolutions: 20 things to do in 2006

1. I shall study like there's no tomorrow--constant revision baby!

2. I shall finish assignments at least one week before the deadline--no more last minute bullshit

3. I shall stay awake in lectures....even if the lecturer is lulling himself to sleep

4. I shall turn up for Public Health lectures

5. I shall learn how to ask 'open questions'

6. I shall draft a budget that would make Ebenezer Scrooge proud

7. I shall get a weekend job

8. I shall go to Italy

9. I shall go to a friendly pub once--it's a bet..one I'm willing to lose considering a friend's future is at stake..hehe

10. I shall find out what a Ramlee Burger is

11. I shall go back to KTJ and say a proper thank you to the Scots, the Singaporean and the lactose-intolerant one

12. I shall remember birthdays and anniversaries better

13. I shall be tidier

14. I shall be less cynical....at least in public..what I think is still my business :P

15. I shall eat more fish...bleh...it's supposed to be brain food

16. I shall employ an 'open ear policy'...everyone is entitled to freedom of speech; should I disagree with any seemingly unfair comments, I shall bite my tongue and think happy thoughts

17. I shall stick to some kind of excercise routine...I WILL lose the ass! woohoo!

18. I shall appreciate what I have and complain less

19. I shall make more effort to keep in touch with friends, old and new

20. And above all, I shall enjoy life

A toast to 2005

I'm not one for sentimental expressions of any kind...at least not in public..but reading Prasad's blog (that and being the only person left in Connaught) got me thinking about the past 12 months...

Funny thing is, try as I might, there are no individual events that strike a chord because everything, however improbable and seemingly irrelevant, was inextricably linked.......never knew this amount of drama to exist anywhere outside badly directed Singaporean soap operas that my mother and sister are unfortunately addicted to :p

Given the amount of shit that has happened, however, I have yet to regret anything...because the time spent with the people who stuck with me is something I would not trade for the world..(throw in a Chanel bag, I might reconsider;) ) So to gay best friends and fellow emcees*; boarding houses; Monday Night Meetings; my Irinah girls, especially the 5 of you; late night pasta and maggie parties; lava lamps and chillout music; Mamak in Mantin; roundings ending with conferences at the surau; The Zone; attention seeking watches; box cars; a certain Singaporean proctor and so much more......here's to making 2005 the best time I've ever had :)
*there's only one such person, and he's not gay..hehe

It's almost dreamlike though..the whole idea of working your whole life for that one phone call....after which the flurry of activity while preparing for a new life so to speak kind of drowns out any doubts or questions one might have...until one day, you sit down and realize you've finished your first term of medical school....and there is just no turning back...do I like this life I've chosen?..I suppose..do I ever wish I'd made a different choice? all the time...but again, it all boils down to human nature doesnt it,..we all want what we can't have....
c'est la vie..nothing wrong with dreaming of what could've been..

I was supposed to go for a party an hour ago but I decided not to at the last minute...antisocial? perhaps...perhaps as a salute to the past 19 years,I simply want to cherish these last 3 hours and savour memories of days gone by...or perhaps after a boarding house of 70 girls, a home where everyone has the key to everything and a house of 15 odd girls who are rarely sober, I just need some alone time to do some quiet reflection and to give 2005 the send off it deserves.