3 more days...sigh....

A glimpse at what boredom can do to you:

Pwasad says: so its settled then, u'll die alone eaten by cats and I'll be pecked to death by canaries

Thai baby and strawberries...lalala...says: dammit...urs sounds so much cooler...now i wish I'd said canaries first..:(

Pwasad says: wahaha..I win!

Thai baby and strawberries...lalala...says: but then after my cats finish eating me they'll eat ur canaries so they eat you by proxy

Thai baby and strawberries...lalala...says: so I win! woohoo!!

Pwasad says: ass:P

But I want to be bored even if it kills me because the only time I'm not bored is term-time and I dont wanna go back to school..uni..watever.... :(
Well I do, but just for like 5 minutes because I got an email this morning that says I have a cheque to pick up at the SGH reception....must be the 20 quid they owe me for the interview stint... :D

You know when you buy milk, and there's this tag that says best before,..it's bullshit..the tag on mine said best before July 2006 and it tasted sourishly bitter when I opened it this morning...it was fine when i drank it a few days ago...so I had to walk all the way to the corner shop which is yonks away, in the rain, just for a litre of milk...damn cheebai la...

that felt liberating...I havent uttered that word since Primary 6, when this ass of a boy commented on my 'development' or lack thereof...at which I swore like a trooper, gave him a tight slap and poured 7-up into his bag.......and then feigned sickness the next day so I could stay home out of guilt and fear. What if his mum came to school? then I would have to call my mummy and everyone knows no one messes with my mummy...but then cat-fight how??? Or worse.....what if my mummy complained to the principal??!!
*My mum's on a first name basis with 11 out of the 13 principals I know.....it came to a point where everytime someone said something about seeing a parent in the principal's office, the teacher would come into class, point at me and say: "eh, your mother come and complain what again ah?"

Ohhh and Joanne met Tony Blair!!.......the one married man I have no qualms about having a steamy affair with...sighhhh............even if the broad shoulders are mostly padding from his bullet-proof vest....
it's just this air politicians have.....well most of the foreign ones anyway..Sami Vellu doesnt do anything for me.....I hardly blame Lewinsky for her fling with Bill CLinton.....am I breaching any UN law by saying this?but i get UMNO protection right?will they let me into the embassy after my cheap shot at Sami Vellu?if its any consolation I love Mahathir and I used to wish he was my grandfather..oh dear Im making it worse...shaddap Jade :(

Whatever happened to spring fever?

The great , though some may beg to differ, thing about the world of science is it's ability to strip everything down to the core, yet filling every available space so there is no longer room for imagination, replacing adjectives with hard figures so a person no longer has 'big' dreams but rather a dream that is 5ft tall and 6ft wide, doing away with anything abstract and accepting only the concrete and that visible to the naked eye...

A twinkle in the eye is no longer a sign of happiness, because science is after all devoid of emotion...it is probably a sign of atropine poisoning, or so said Dr. Sampson, dilatation of the pupils caused by ingesting the deadly nightshade....someone who is always happy should probably be given a urine test as long term consumption of oral steroids gives a false sense of euphoria.......so what of the proverbial spring fever that sends hearts aflutter and makes adolescents giddy with joy? Could it be it is merely a misinterpretation, by choice of course, of something more scientific?...for instance hay fever that is so common during spring.Perhaps the tingling sensation from head to toe is the result of histamine release...perhaps those who burn with desire simply suffer from cytokine induced fever....In other words, maybe those who think they've been hit with spring fever are just atopical individuals who desperately need to romanticize(if there is such a word) the fact that they are simply more prone to allergies and hence the afore mentioned symptoms.

I'm being cynical arent i :P...i fail to see rainbows and the pots of gold at the end of them, and I dont believe in Santa Claus....I remember when I was young, I would go to bed extra early everynight the week before Christmas, with the excuse that I needed to talk to Santa in private.....only I would make sure to speak extra loud and repeat how much I wanted a Jimmy Lim cassette...I knew my parents were bound to hear me sometime ;)

And for the record, I know who Kurt Cobain is.....so no need for the shockgasphorroromg routine should I make a reference to him...I'm not that much of a dungu la pls

OH! I was in town this morning and this sexy chinese chick walked by ( I'm not talking about myself btw:P),......the minute she passed this group of men, one of them , still completely engrossed in his conversation with the boys, started humping his bike...in a completely unconscious, not deliberate or trying to be crude way...it was almost as if it were a reflex ...and there you have it, proof that guys think with their dicks and are absolutely capable of multi-tasking, IF they want to :P

Fondue for Dummies

I have found a new reason to live, seen the light, embraced the um...something.. [Spirituality isn't exactly my strong suit in case you havent noticed]... and all because of a little religion I'd like to call ---Asda-ism. And this, is why:

88p for these lush beauties....you have my permission to drool..


it's a real berry if anyone's wondering, I just have great photography skills =P

1GBP for a few seconds of heaven....mmm

Put all that together and what you get is THE most effective anti-depressant known to man....the only side-effect being girth in the case of an O.D.........but even that can easily be solved by a simple exercise routine, which in turn releases endorphins that make people happy and everything seem just sodding peachy *beams*

*n.b--this was posted under the ever so slight influence of alcohol...the author shall not be held responsible for anything deemed politically incorrect or um...other legal stuff...

Doughnuts and bling blings

I've been having a major craving for doughnuts since the start of the holidays...and since we dont have Dunkin Donuts or Krispy Kremes, which I have yet to try,...I've been relying on Asda Smart Price doughnuts...not exactly gourmet pastry..but heck, for 10p each, I'm not complaining...

After a week of munching my way through caramel filled rings, chocolate rings, chocolate filled rings, custard filled, and raspberry jam filled.......I see a fucking doughnut everytime I look in the mirror...So to make myself feel better, I ate another doughnut...now I feel sick and bloated and I'll be damned if I touch another doughnut within the next 5 years.
But just to make sure, I took a bus to town,went into the first clothing store I could find, and tried on a size 6 top......And now I'm off to buy fresh strawberries and Nutella.. ;)...it fit btw..hehe
Plus, now that I have a gorgeous new phone....that wasnt very subtle was it....bygones..hee..I can take pictures wherever I go and maybe, just maybe, I can do one of those food blog thingies where people dine at McDonald's, take pictures of a Big Mac, and then try to channel the food connoisseurs buried somewhere in them by criticising the overly dry beef patties...or better still, have teh-o-ais at Ah Keong Kopitiam and call it dining ''al-fresco''*insert Ah Beng accent, Dolce Gabbana underwear and all* :P....I'm being mean aren't I...blame it on the oestrogen..

But enough small talk...been dying to show the world my new phone..hehe..prrresenting:: yayay!! finally!! a phone that doesnt shut off in the middle of a phone call or a message, doesnt run out of batteries every hour, and doesn't present with triple screens everytime u press the OK button. AND it was a super reasonable deal....AND I blinged it up....Numero uno sign of extreme boredom: when this little chicky spends 2 hours attaching crystals on a brand new phone with a nail clipper and eyebrow tweezers....it's called improvising dah-ling ;)

My mum will probably kill me for doing this......but if i'm going to spend 100 quid on a phone, I'm damn well going to make sure no one's going to walk around carrying the exact same phone......I am on a hormone high[translation: I will plead temporary insanity in court] and I will not hesitate to castrate you and feed it to the ducks...so no, find some other way to personalize your phone.

Mememememe

I got tagged by Adrian McCartney=P..peace boy,...
~the idea is to go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle.
~say the following questions aloud, and press play.use the song titles that come up to answer each question.NO CHEATING.
so here goes:

how does the world see me?
Take me as I am--Wyclef Jean.............hehehe..sweeeet.....if only:P

will i have a happy life?
since you've been gone--Kelly Clarkson.....oh.my.god......i dont like this meme very much :S..

what do people really think of me?
Girl-Destiny's Child........I'm guessing it means I have trouble opening up?which i do....hot damn this thing is freaky!...

do people secretly lust after me?
Portugese Love Theme--Craig Armstrong.......I attract the Portugese...so I'm like Melaka..?..I'm deeply disturbed...

how can i make myself happy?
Falling away with you--Muse.....cherishing fate and reliving memories..hmph..I'm afraid of heights so I'm not falling away with nobody

what should i do with my life?
Sometimes--Gabrielle....."we have our highs and lows..doesnt mean we should walk away...we should work through our mistakes".......shit.

will i ever have children?
When you say you love me--Josh Groban...ohoho...it's going to take a hell lot more than that to negotiate my uterus ;)

what is some good advice for me?
Remember when it rained--Josh Groban....yea, it's time to buy me an umbrella

what do i think my current theme song is?
California--Phantom Planet..hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..Hell yea my life is worse than The O.C!

what does everyone else think my current theme song is?
You and me--Jojo....oh good god

what song will play at my funeral?
Cuppy cake--Strawberry Shortcake...hehehe...it would be nice to be remembered as a "sugarpie honeybunch, pumpi-umpi-umpkin"

what type of men/women do you like?
Hello darling--Conway Titty............I only want what I can't have ..gah! :S...

what is my day going to be like?
The Trouble with love is--Kelly Clarkson...hahaha...seriously? seriously?

why am i here?
Chariot--Gavin Degraw.......to guide you and give you my strength..hehe...damn right I am!

what will people remember me for?
Dance with my father--Luther Vandross......hmm

what song will i get stuck in my head tomorrow?
Bridge over troubled waters--Simon and Garfunkel

are there people outside waiting to take me away?
If loving you is wrong--Al Green......"your friends tell you/there's no future/in loving a married man"....hahahaha..yea, my sugar daddy's waitin' in the rain while I finish this up..hehehe

what will this year be all about?
Beautiful Soul--Jesse McCartney..."I dont want another pretty face, I dont want just anyone to hold, I dont want my love to go to waste, I want you and your beautiful soul// am I crazy for wanting you, baby do you think you could want me to"..no shit...I'm going to make myself feel better by disregarding the lyrics and assuming the beautiful soul in question is mine

There,I've done it. Can't be bothered to tag anyone, but Paul, you know u want to do this:P

Southampton sights

I'm bored..and I'm hungry...and someone's downstairs using my kitchen..since I am in no mood to make small talk, I shall be an antisocial bugger and look at food-blogs until I hear a click on my front door..

And I can't blog without energy....soo...until I get some food in me, I shall sit in my stolen chair and brood over mysteries of the universe: like why the Honey Hoops from Asda taste like peanut butter instead of honey...and whether keeping my eggs ...(no, i didnt lay them, twit, I bought them from a chicken) on the windowsill is a bad idea....will the sun and heat from it hatch my eggs?...and if they do hatch..does that mean I will be having chicken instead of eggs with my maggi tonight?.........